Cousin Roger and the Kefir

Heh.

Cousin Roger came over from across the road today.  He came in with a beer in one hand and some paperwork that he needed some help with in the other.  After The Husband got the paperwork fixed up, Roger sat back to visit a while and tell us about the date he had lined up for this evening. 

Just prior to Roger's arrival, I had been straining today's batch of kefir.  The kefir is making faster than I want to drink it, and I've been pawning off the extra on anybody who will take it.  My "reserve" jug in the refrigerator was too full to hold today's batch, so I poured up a big glass of the chilled kefir to make room in the jar and set it aside while I did the straining.  Before I got around to drinking it myself, Roger came in.  I remembered that he'd said he'd been having a lot of heartburn, and I asked him if that was still the case.  When he said that he was still suffering with it, and eating antacids like candy, I handed him my glass of kefir and said, "Here, drink this.  It might help your heartburn if you can choke it down."

He looked suspicious.  "What is it?"

"Fermented milk.  Be a big boy and drink it, and if you like it I'll send some home with you."

"Hell, I'll try anything if it'll help," he said, and he turned the glass up and chugged it like a beer.

A few cusswords later, he handed the glass back to me, and went on talking about antacids.  He said he recently heard that eating too many antacid tablets could cause constipation.  "And you know," he said, "come to think of it, I'm not real regular."

I said, "Well, you might be regular by tomorrow."

We shot the bull a little more, then Roger went home.  (He didn't ask for any kefir to take home.)  The Husband left to go pick up The Grandson.  My telephone rang just after he left.

"Let me speak to The Husband," Roger said.

"He's gone to get The Grandson," I told him.  "What do you need?"

"Listen, tell him NOT TO DRINK THAT STUFF," Roger said.  "I didn't even make it across the yard good before it hit me!"

"Oh, no!  What happened?  Did you puke?"  (After he drank the kefir, I wondered if it would react with the beer in his stomach and blow him up like a toad, but I didn't mention this to Roger.)

"Naw, I didn't puke," he said.  "I had to come in and wash my clothes, though!"

Heh.  Silly Cousin Roger.  He was kidding.

I hope.  ;)