Mustard on the Ceiling - 2/1/2020

My telephone rang about 4:30 p.m. last Friday afternoon.  It was Nanny, wondering if I wanted to ride to town with her.  I was puzzled.  Was there some plan that I had not known about?  When she reminded me that it was Uncle Jack's birthday (#81!) and that there was a party for him starting at 6 p.m., I panicked.  Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I'd known about this party.  I hadn't bought a present or even a card.  A birthday party at a family member's house always required making a dish, and my cupboard was nearly bare.  I told Nanny that, yes, I would ride with her, and immediately began to scratch around in the refrigerator and the pantry to see if I could find something to cook for the party.

I found a big block of cheese and a can of chili-ready diced tomatoes.  Cheese dip coming up!

While I was perusing the contents of the refrigerator, I came across a big stick of summer sausage made from a deer The Husband had shot last year.  The sausage had been in the freezer for about a year.  I'd found it earlier in the week when I was digging through the freezer looking for something else, and I'd put it in the refrigerator to thaw.  All of Uncle Jack's offspring are hunters.  I knew that if there was ever a crowd that would appreciate deer sausage, it would be his folks.  I peeled the cover off of the sausage and sliced it up on a platter.  As I was slicing, I was thinking about what I could use to make a dip for the sausage.  The refrigerator yielded some spicy brown mustard and some jalapeno pepper jelly.  I splashed some of each into a small bowl and stuck it in the microwave to melt the jelly.

It was pushing 5:30 by this time.  Nanny was supposed to pick me up at 5:45.  I was rushing to finish by the time she got here.

When the microwave bell dinged, I grabbed the bowl.  It was hot, and I dropped it.  It landed on the floor, square on its bottom.  I watched as, seemingly in slow motion, the mustard/jelly mixture exploded upward.  The sh*t went EVERYWHERE - on me, on the floor, on the table, on the microwave and the wall and the curtains . . . . I grabbed a dishrag and started mopping up the mess.  Fortunately, enough of the mustard/jelly remained in the bowl to reserve a little for the sausage.

We had a good time at the party.  Uncle Jack and Aunt Myra are about the sweetest two people on earth, and it was good to visit with them and other family members that we don't get to see very often.

The next morning, I happened to look up while sitting at my kitchen table.  There was mustard on the ceiling and on the light fixture over the table.  It's a 1980's "popcorn" ceiling.  If I try to scrub it, the popcorn will come off, and there'll be a bare spot.

Wonder what will cover up mustard?