The other day, as I was coming up Nanny's driveway, red-faced and sweaty, and plumb near worn out from a hard-won wrestling match with the big red tiller, I met Gus, my brother-in-law, hoofing it down Nanny's driveway, full speed ahead. "S'up, Gus?" I called as we got within earshot of one another. "Where's the fire?"
"Aw, I'm just walking for exercise," he said, "since I didn't have time to go to the gym this evening."
"Well, carry on," I told him, rolling past him.
I saw him again last night on Nanny's back porch. "You know, Gus, I need to apologize to you," I told him.
"What for?"
"Well, the other night, when you were out walking because you didn't have time to go to the gym, I should have offered you a turn behind the big red tiller any time you want it."
"Aw, now - "
"Yep. You could be doing cardio and strength training, for free, right here on the hill, instead of driving all the way to the gym and paying your hard-earned money for exercise. It was just plain rude and thoughtless of me not to offer."
"Hey, I appreciate that," he said with spurious sincerity. "Mighty nice of you. I'll sure keep it in mind."
Heh...I expect it'll be a cold day, somewhere, before I catch him behind the tiller.
* * * *
I bought corn seeds this week, thinking I'd plant it in the empty rows in the early garden. The package says it matures in 75 days. There should be plenty growing season left for it to make. Nevertheless, I'm not very confident that we'll actually eat any corn from these seeds.
First, I've never grown corn, except for that time, a couple of years ago, when I planted some old popcorn seeds that Pop-Pop had found in his cabinet. I planted it on the back side of the garden, where there's more shade, because that's where I had an empty spot. The corn came up, but it looked sickly. It made skinny ears. The raccoons promptly pushed over the stalks and ate the corn right off the cobs. One couldn't really call that a successful crop.
Secondly, it will be a miracle if I get to it before the varmints (including the afore-mentioned raccoons) do. Uncle B, across the road, grows corn every year. He said that he's planted his corn three times, already - once because the crows pulled it up to get at the seed, and once because the rabbits ate it to the ground. He's got a scarecrow; I think he uses the same one every year, so the crows may feel friendly toward it by now. I could probably help him come up with a new one to deal with the crows, but, aside from staking out a double of Dobermans between the rows, I have no clue how to keep out the rabbits and 'coons.
Nanny said she saw a rabbit that she'd bet was "two foot tall, not counting his ears," sitting up on his haunches behind Pop-Pop's truck. She said she ran in the house to look for the shotgun, but couldn't find it. It's probably just as well; the blast would probably have knocked her out of her tiny little shoes, and it wouldn't have been so great for Pop-Pop's tail lights, either. I hope the rabbit stays at her house, and doesn't venture up the driveway as far as the early garden.
Anyway, I haven't planted the corn, yet. On the way home from the garden center, I picked up my grandson and brought him home with me. When I asked him if he wanted to go to the garden, he jumped at the chance. We walked across the road, but as we neared the gate, he said, "Grandmama, it's hot." And it was. I asked, "Do you want to go back to the house?" "Um-hmmm!" he said, and did an immediate about-face. We spent the rest of the day inside, where it was cool. I was intending to plant the corn yesterday, but the bottom fell out of the sky on the way home from work. The ground is too wet to dig, but my empty rows have just been tilled, and the dirt is loose enough for me to simply poke the seeds into the mud. If you don't hear from me in a day or two, I'll be marred up in the early garden, so please call a tractor to come pull me out! ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment