Gnats - August 11, 2021

 

My house is full of gnats.

They're driving me nuts.  They try to fly up my nose.  God only knows what they do while I'm sleeping.

Where do these things come from???  Are they hatching out of the vegetables I'm bringing from the garden?  If so, how many gnat-lings am I eating without knowing it?

Over the years, I have tried all sorts of tricks to catch them.  Since reading that they'll drown themselves in a bowl of apple cider vinegar, I've tried all sorts of vinegar in a bowl in an attempt to lure them in.  Most of the time I find them crawling around the rim of the bowl.  I guess they're huffing the fumes.  But they're not drowning.

After years of seeing them hover around my kefir jar (I keep it covered, of course, so they can't get in), it finally occurred to me to try drowning them in kefir.  I poured a shot into a half-pint jar and set it near the sink, where a fluorescent light burns 24/7.  Before I went to bed, I checked the jar.  There was a gnat in it - IN IT, not ON it.  He was fluttering weakly.  HAH!  GOT HIM!  I picked up the jar and gave the contents a little swirl to sink him good, and set the jar back in its place.

This morning, there were multiple dead gnats in the kefir - far more than I ever dreamed were even in the house - and several more live ones crawling around inside the jar.  Last night's swirl to drown the first gnat was a mistake, for the kefir had coated the inside of the jar and the gnats didn't have to get in the liquid to enjoy it.  

I clamped my hand over the jar to trap the live ones and gave the jar a few hard shakes to coat the live gnats, then I poured the kefir down the drain and turned on the hot water to scald the ones that might have survived.  

One or two of the gnats managed to get away before I could get my hand over the jar, but there's a fresh jar of kefir waiting for them on the kitchen sink.  

I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down at my desk to read the news.  Thank goodness I'd put half-n-half in the coffee, for when I picked up my cup to take a sip, there was a gnat swimming in it.  I fished him out and moved on.