Cat catching - May 19, 2020

While I'm waiting for some glue to dry, let me tell you how my day started.

The cat had an appointment with the vet at 8:00 this morning to get shots and get spayed.

This is not our cat.  Or wasn't our cat.  It adopted us a few weeks ago.  When we saw it catch a rodent in the yard, we decided to let it stay.  I called the vet to make an appointment to have the cat "fixed" and vaccinated.  The soonest appointment I could get was three weeks from when I called. 

During this three weeks, we began to suspect the cat was pregnant.  The vet said they would take care of it, but it would cost me extra.  I said, "Whatever.  I do not want kittens."

This cat is about half wild.  It is not so leery of us that it won't rub our legs, but sudden moves send it packing.  Ever since I made the appointment, I have been planning how to capture the cat to get it to the vet.

The Nephew has a live trap big enough to catch a raccoon.  I borrowed it from him yesterday.  At the cat's suppertime, I fixed the trap so that it wouldn't spring and put the cat food in the trap.  She was a little suspicious, but eventually she went in and ate.  I thought, Game on, cat.

This morning she would not go in the trap.  She went half-way in at one point, and we should have just shoved her ass in and been done with it, but she hissed when we tried to block her exit, and she got away.

Now, we both had to be at work this morning, and the clock was ticking.  I waited a little, and she calmed down and started rubbing on my leg.  I just reached down and picked her up under her belly (which was bumpy with little cat titties - a sure sign she is with child).  When she did not protest much at being picked up, I marched her to my car, opened the back hatch, and tossed her in.

She got out before I could close the hatch.

I gave her a few more minutes to calm down, then enlisted The Husband's assistance.  He brought her to the car, holding her straight out in front of him, with her kicking and squirming, and I opened the hatch and he stuffed her in.  Aaaand she got out again.

I said to The Husband, "F*ck this cat.  I'm calling animal control."

I have been trying to talk animal control into catching this cat for me for weeks.  They seemed like they wanted to help, given the fact that I was going to adopt the cat rather than send her to the animal shelter, but they are apparently short-handed (because of the corona virus) and not all that eager (or perhaps able) to help me get the #(!@ cat to the vet.  But this time I was going to give them an ultimatum:  either come help me catch the cat, or come get the bitch and keep her.

On my way to work, I called the vet.  They put me on hold for 12 minutes before I could say the first word.  When they finally answered, I told them I could not catch the cat and asked them if I could bring her in later today if I could catch her.  They said sure, but it would be a few days before they could get to it, and they'll charge me room and board until then.  I am NOT paying room and board for a cat that's NOT EVEN MINE (it won't be my cat until I actually lay out money on it, not counting cat food).  I couldn't make another appointment, because I have NO IDEA when I will be able to catch this cat.

The next call I made was to the animal shelter.  I told them in a very heartfelt manner that they could either promise to come catch this cat for me so I can get it to the vet (after I make another appointment), or they can COME GET IT NOW.  The person on the phone evidently did not have the authority to make this decision.  I am waiting on a call from the boss.

The cat was still here when I got home from work, so I guess they didn't choose the COME GET IT NOW option.  I glanced over at the patio a little while ago, and the shithead was in the trap, eating cat food.  Apparently the trap is not set, and if it were, I'd have to turn the cat loose since today's appointment has come and gone and I can't get another for several days.

Meanwhile, she's probably going to have kittens.

If that happens, my next call to the animal shelter will not give them only one option:  COME GET THEM.