Sh*t Storm - May 22, 2023

If you just ate, or intend to eat soon, either close this post now or scroll down past the * * * * * * * * *, for this is disgusting.

I finally called my doctor last week and asked him to phone in a prescription for bronchitis.  We do this every spring, so he knows the ropes and prescribes a round of penicillin.  I started taking it Thursday and was feeling a letter better by Saturday.  Yesterday, "the antibiotic poops" started. 

I had just showered and dressed, intending to go to the office for a little while before picking up my grocery order, when this morning's second sprint for the bathroom occurred.  (I made it to the hallway bathroom in time.)  After the flush, as I was washing my hands at the sink, the commode belched, and brown poop water came pouring over the rim of the bowl.  The neighbors across the road probably heard me yelling, 'Oh NO!  OH NO!  OH NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Normally, there would have been a plunger beside the toilet, but because we'd had cookout guests last weekend, I had hidden it and the scrub brush in a closet in another bathroom.  As I raced for the other bathroom, brown water continued to pour onto the floor.  When I got back with the plunger, I waded in and shut off the water valve (should've thought of that sooner, eh?).  When the flooding finally stopped, I went to work with the plunger, sending more water pouring over the bowl.

This plunger works kind of like a bicycle pump, forcing air into the pipes.  It will usually unclog a clog with the first couple of pumps. 

Not today.  

After 5 or 6 pumps, brown poop water began to spew out the top of the plunger cylinder, right into my face.  The next few pumps soaked the front of my shirt.  And, of course, my feet were already soaked. But still the bowl did not empty.  

Plan B:  Open the access drain outside the house.  This drain is in a flower bed beside the front porch.  Its PVC cap was half-buried in mulch.  I dug the mulch away and tried to open the plug, but it would not turn.  Had to find a pipe wrench to open it.  And, of course, my feet got soaked again when the brown poop water came pouring out.  (My sandals are now out in the yard, awaiting disinfection.)  

Once the clog was out (ewwww), I had to deal with the poop water in the bathroom floor.  Fortunately, our mop does not require hand wringing.  I sopped up most of the flood with the mop and a bath towel from the laundry hamper, then I mopped the floor with disinfectant.  The towel and the mop head went straight into the washing machine (with bleach).  I went straight to the shower.  Again.

While showering, it occurred to me that I had tracked poop water all over the house while going for the plunger, the mop, and the wrench.  I'll have to mop the entire house after I get back from picking up the groceries.  And I'll have to do something about the sandals.  :-\

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The instructions at the top of this post were for your own good.